What do you really mean? 'I hate you' or ' I hate what you did / said '

What do people mean in plain english by the names they call others?
What is the truth ? What is correct ? What is accurate ? How do I feel about what was done or said ?

I think that it is usually inaccurate, generalised, exaggerated to say, " I hate you".
What people more accurately mean is, "I hate something you have done or an opinion you supported "
I hate that opinion that you just approved of, I think it is not  caring or reasonable. I'm puzzled as to how you don't feel embarrassed / ashamed to hold it.
I hate the way you spoke to me, I think that you need to try to be more considerate.
It really irritates me that the first sentence of your reply is often to contradict what I say. As a default habit you should really start a reply by firstly acknowledging the points in what the other person has said that you agree with before going on to explain where you differ. "Usually I try to start by outlining where I agree with others but I'm afraid I can see no common ground with your position, I think that what you have said is almost entirely nonsense". Actually people often sensibly use shorthand, 'Nonsense, do it like I told you!

Maybe it is a good policy to try to put things in a caring, gentle way
  I'm sorry but I find that music unbearable, I just need to switch it off, it is depressing me
  I'm sorry but I just need to turn you off, I'm getting tortured, it feels like torture, I can't stand it
   Millions might enjoy the sound of your voice but I'm afraid I can't be a fan, I need to turn you off

  I find it interesting to speak in a subjective way, how I feel about it, what I like / enjoy. Everyone has different tastes.  One man's meat is another man's poison.
    Do you like that piece of music ? I'm sorry, it just drives me up the wall. We have different tastes in that matter.
   I strongly disagree with that proposal.
   I think you are not correct about that point, I think that is not the correct date.
   I didn't want it done that way, I didn't want you to do that. I think you should not have done that