Wednesday, 27 July 2011

Emotional literacy is an interpretative framework, not a rule to ban words

I think if my core focus is on a subjective way of speaking about things in terms of my emotions then I feel happier. I'm more pleased with the result.

Emotional literacy is an interpretative framework, it is not a rule which bans swearing or cursing or name calling.
Nothing is ruled out. It is just that the core focus is on how you feel about the matter in question and that everything gets interpreted in that way. This is just what happens when you ask, 'What did I / they mean ? How would I put that into plain english'

 If someone speaks to me in a string of swearing and name calling. I'm going to ask myself, 'What did they really mean by that' and it is going to come out something like, "I'm furious that you did / said that and I don't want you see / hear you doing it again "
  If you say to me, 'You fool ' I will interpret that as , "You are really annoyed that I have done this or that I say I intend to do it and you hope I won't". I will say to my friends, 'He was really annoyed that I did that / he was annoyed that I intended to do it'.  He thinks my plans will fail but I think there are somethings that he hasn't realised about my way, I can see why he is worried and upset but once I explain everything to him I think he will see the sense of doing it my way. It is a kinder, more caring interpretation.
   Or do you end up going down the route of, 'They called me a 'fool', well there is a grain of truth to that, maybe they are right'. Don't write yourself off / condemn  yourself as a 'fool'. I have a catalogue of mistakes behind me but I am now going to fill a catalogue of successes

  It is easy in moments of surprised peak anger to say random curses, swear words, name calling even though you didn't plan on saying such things, even though you do not approve of them, even though you maybe had practiced over and over saying a more helpful thing. It isn't a big deal. It is a mistake to make it into a big deal.

The main thing is to be good at remembering the necessary information, to be good at problem solving, to be good at getting your job done, to be good at following protocol, to succeed in getting things to work.

Getting hung up on not swearing is a mistake, it is an irrelevant distraction.

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