Wednesday, 27 July 2011

What do I really mean by the nasty names / abusive use of metaphor ?

When someone does something that displeases you, it is so easy to call them a nasty name or to use a metaphor which says that they are something nasty ( that obviously they are not )

It is inaccurate, generalised, exaggerated to name call e.g "You fool"
If I make a mistake, if I do something stupid, it is easy to say of myself, " You fool. you idiot, you nutter"
Is that name true ? Does it depend on how big the mistake was or on the number of times I have now done that or similar mistakes ? If a highly qualified, successful professional is driving and makes a mistake, cutting me up or reversing into a barrier is it true to say of them , 'You fool'?
   The fool and the wise man are really mythic poles that don't exist. They are imaginary characters at either extreme of behaviour.
   I think the key point is to judge the action / idea and not to try to judge the whole person.
   I behaved in a foolish way, I behaved like a fool there, I'm sorry. I behaved as 'The fool' would have done.
   You have behaved foolishly, You have done a very foolish thing, You have acted the fool.
  Just becaue I / you acted foolishly does not mean that it is correct to say ' I am a fool', in the same way that if the numerical answer was 100 and you give the answer 55 then you have failed to give the correct answer.

These phrases are better than judging the whole person but still obscure, what do you really mean?
There is an argument about every possible course of action or opinion.
There are valid reasons for doing it and valid reasons against doing it.
There are advantages and disadvantages to everything,
Every silver lining has a cloud. Every cloud has a silver lining.
To every pro there is a con.
 I think it is best to say, ' Although I can see there were a,,b,c reasons in favour of doing what you did there are reasons x, y, z against doing that, because of my priorities I think you made a mistake there. I think that you did not do the best thing, you should have done this...'.  " Well I didn't want it to turn out this way either, I realise that I made a poor choice but it wasn't obvious at the time. I should have done this... "


She is a cow   V        She as acted harshly / cruelly
             bitch              I think that she should allow her children's dad to see his children. I think that she                                              is hindering their development by not doing so .
                                   I think she is acting meanly, monstrously
                                   I think she has acted like a monster

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