What is the alternative to pointing at the thing that you didn't want to happen ?
What is the alternative to pointing at the thing that dipleased you, angered you, that you were unhappy with ?
Is it possible to outline what you think would have been the best thing to do or say ?
What should have been done? What do you wish you had done ? What was the best thing to say /do ?
What was the better way to manage that situation ? Was there a better way or was it really ok ?
I want you to pay your dues on time in future.
Let's go over the pros and cons of the argument and hopefully come to some agreement about this. Hopefully in going over all the reasons for and against, you will understand why I want you to do it the way i asked. Hopefully you will agree with the conclusion I reached or that a better conclusion will be drawn.
Let me explain what I see as my priorities and how they affect the argument.
I didn't want you to do that, I wanted you to do this ....
I think you shouldn't have done that, I think it would have been better to do it like this....
I wish you hadn't done it that way, I hoped you would do it this way ...
I wanted you to achieve the following points 1, 2, 3, 4, 5,. I'm pleased that you managed to fulfill points 1, 2, 5, but I am disappointed that you failed on points 3 & 4. What happened? Did you not understand what I wanted or did you meet some difficulties that you couldn' t find solutions to ? I hope we can identify a strategy to succeed on points 3 & 4 in future.